There is no spoon? No, there is - and you're it.

Seriously, how the fuck does Keanu Reeves' still have an acting career?

I went to see his latest flick, The Day The Earth Stood Still, a couple weeks ago. It was - and, to be fair, I pretty much expected it to be - shit. Plain and simple. No, "oh, the effects were mind-blowing" or any of that bollox. I really don't care for special effects. I'm older than 10. I want a good, well -paced, -directed, and -acted yarn. And yes, you can get these attributes from a sci-fi movie (see: Twelve Monkeys, Donnie Darko, among many others).

It's your basic aliens-come-to-earth-and-we-ponder-are-they-good-?-are-they-bad-?-while-the-aliens-sharpen-their-knives plot. And Keanu is a fairly one-dimensional, emotionless, robot-like alien. In the movie, I mean.

Anyway, my main bone of contention with Mr. Reeves (apart from the fact that he has an entire career based on one mega-successful movie franchise) is that - and this is not in any way groundbreaking, I'm sure this has crossed everyones mind at some stage - he has only one acting style. Neo is John Constantine is Ted "Theodore" Logan is Klaatu (this film).

Ok, you may say - fair enough, he has one acting style. Yeah, I agree. But... if I had only one acting style (I have none), I would try my very best to pick movies that had the potential to be good, regardless of my presence.

The Day The Earth Stood Still would not have been good if Jesus himself had've directed it. I can say that with great certainty. So, does this mean that along with being a one-dimensional actor, Keanu is also a terrible judge of potential projects? If so, is this not the most amazing acting career that has ever arisen - very little talent for either acting OR choosing projects? This leads me to the question: if I, or you, or any single person you know, had've been cast as Neo in The Matrix would we be a big a star as him right now? I can only assume the answer is 'yes'.